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Once again , back to Undecided Mode.

Journal Entry: Thu Feb 2, 2012, 1:42 PM


A lot of random unnecessary thoughts are messing up my mind recently.

Once again , it all revolves around college , art , and future career.

I'm getting insomnia thinking of all these stuffs -__- Damn now do I wish I was back to being a 3 year old passing each day without a single worries.

Sometimes I wish I could be a jerk and dump everything and pack up some stuffs and runaway to an island , away from reality at the moment.
But then again , I can't stand to break my mom's heart since she's been supporting me with all my college stuffs all these while. Will I be able to get a job and pay her back the money in the future? Or am I just going to be a failed unfaithful child who can't earn much and let her hopes down? Ugh , right tight , I'm doom. I guess this is what you call extreme depression once you reach a certain age to make many big decisions -__-. God do I despise the idea of growing up at times.

As for my current manga illustration , I don't know how good are my skills at the moment , I keep having the doubts on whether I should really pursue it as a career? Or just let it remain as a hobby? Cause I know for sure , at my current country , I'm not going to make it anywhere taking up a career like that.

More praises , more watchers , more high expectations , more pressures. It's a good thing though. Which means I just have to strive and make all my next work better and better.
(Doubts own ability to keep up the improvement pace)

But then again , No pain , No gain.

Cheers...

Skin by detrans (modified by Yokoshiro)
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:iconlsmoogle8:
LSMoogle8 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
Well, it all varies. It all depends if you want to draw for the rest of your life. I personally see a lot of improvement in your drawings. Whatever path you choose, I wish you luck
Reply
:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012   Digital Artist
I love to draw , but I'm not too sure about the rest of the life thingy. =x
And thanks , glad to hear I have some improvements. =]
Good luck to you and your goals too.
Reply
:iconlsmoogle8:
LSMoogle8 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
AWW thanks :hug: By the way, love your icon of your Oc <3
No prob~
Reply
:iconsinister-sweet:
Sinister-Sweet Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012   General Artist
You know, your situation reminds me a lot of my life. I too am in college, barely getting by as far as finances go (though I do have a job, albeit a rather crappy one), and want to become an art major yet constantly face doubts about it. Will I make enough money off my work? Will I get into animation? Will I even make any sort of living off my art?

But you have to still try, unless you really see your art as a hobby. If you know that your art is professional caliber (which I think your work is darn close) then nothing should discourage you. And if you find a true passion in something else–art related or not–along the way, was it not all worth it in the end? :)
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:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012   Digital Artist
Hmm thanks =]

Yeah indeed. Art is a gift , and also a curse at some point lol.

Art's definitely more than just a hobby to me , and indeed I probably shouldn't be discouraged so easily lol , but sometimes , I just wish that my mom would see art just the way I see it. Weird thing is whenever it comes to art related stuffs , my mom and I just never seem to be able to "click" on it.
Reply
:icon07-ghost8:
07-Ghost8 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
well its ur choice, but I think you could do really well with your abilities. whether its manga (<3) or just illustrating childrens books, I think you'll be fine.

your mom supports you, so dont worry ^^

As for collage and stuff, i think its good to know 3D, but that doesnt mean you'll HAVE to do 3D animetions for the rest of your life or something ^^ dont worry about it too much. just calm down and go with the flow.

I would love to be an artist (I'm not very good so theres little chance of that ^^;) but the way things are right now it looks like I'll be joining the military instead. wish I could pursue art, but things change, right?

Good Luck! Don't let the little things get you down!
Reply
:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
Yeah actually.. the thing is my mom supports me with expenses in my art college , she sees something in 3D , but as for my manga arts and my other drawing stuffs , she never really sees anything in them. Even though I've won a manga competition just hoping that'd she might probably see it in a way that I like this kind of style and it might turn out to be a career option for me. Hoping that perhaps she might try to accept the fact about manga and I.. But well , no. To my mom , doing manga works is merely a waste of time. So.. Maybe that's why I'm pretty much discourage in a way. This is also part of the reasons why I'm always being negative =x

Hmm , but the same can go to you too =x IF you really love art , do pursue it too =] I don't really think military is an enjoyable thing to do =x no offense though .
Reply
:icon07-ghost8:
07-Ghost8 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012
hmmm, wll my parents say the exact same but I dont care becuase it has helped me through ot. drawing ALWAYS been m...outlet i guess. I just love it, so i never real cared what they thought of it. I think that either way the 3D experience will be good for you, and i think you should just stick with it. ^^

thanks! I absolutly love art, and would eventually like to make it a career, but for now I'm sticking with military. I want to go either army or marine but Air Force is definatly my fall-back ^^ and yea, its a hard life, but its what I've decided wanna do. lol dont worry. Hope everything works out!!!!
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:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012   Digital Artist
At least you're mentally stronger there =x
Yeah I'll just stick with it until I'm done with the whole course.
And really wish you luck with the military thing there oO , gambatte kudasai~
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:icon07-ghost8:
07-Ghost8 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2012
lol thanks...?
yay. good luck!
thanks!
Reply
:iconzodiacway:
ZodiacWay Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
can I talk to you the next days? Maybe I can cheer you up. I think I know exactly how you feel but something shouldn't be said in my case in this public journal. Personal things. But I want to talk with you if you have time the next days. :hug:
Reply
:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
Yeah I'll be on later, in the evening. =x
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:iconblankfaceisclaimed:
blankfaceisclaimed Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
any other stuffs you like? you can always do art on the side, as long as you have a solid full-time job.
Reply
:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
It's either music or art , but music's probably out of the options for now lol , so it's just arts. Drawing to be more specific =x
Reply
:iconblankfaceisclaimed:
blankfaceisclaimed Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
good at math? you could be an engineer or an architect. but they would be more technical drawings.
Reply
:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
Nah I'm ok with maths , but architects are required to draw buildings and perspective and stuffs , with all those calculation , you'll see me quit that job within an hour lol
Reply
:iconblankfaceisclaimed:
blankfaceisclaimed Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
hmm. video game concept artist? you have to be a bit creative with clothing and such, but it's a possibility.
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:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012   Digital Artist
Nah not much about that. I prefer more to story-telling.. I guess? Not too sure about things atm.
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:iconblankfaceisclaimed:
blankfaceisclaimed Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
hmm... that's tough. hope you figure something out. : D
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:icondenandre:
DenAndre Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Traditional Artist
I'm sure you will be able to make it at school! :D As long as you work hard and really want it!
Don't loose hope....You're an amazing artist that need more love:heart: If you want to make it as a job...I'm sure you will sucsess! :icongrin--plz:
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:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
Hopefully I can =]

And thanks ~
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:icondenandre:
DenAndre Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Traditional Artist
Sure, thing! ;)
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:iconlhuvik:
LhuvIk Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
I don't like to give free advices to anyone, usually it is a waste of time and often the others don't care about your opinion, but it's ok, you'd touched my heart.

We all pass that stage of our lives at any point. It is the time for you to think what you want to do, it isn't about the fame or the glory, to fail or to success. It is about your life and what makes you happy -and not your mother-, that's what it really worths. You're going to do what you choose for the upcoming 40 years (more or less) so think deeply about it.

Whatever you choose there aren't an "easy way", it will give you lots of headaches, lots of stress, and you will no longer able to hide again, that's the part of growing. Scaring, but that's what it is, and we all do it so it can't be that hard ;).

Fight for what you really love, your manga or whatever it is, with all your spirit, because it really worth it. You will have time enough to rest when you die.
Reply
:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
No worries , each and every person that comments on my stuffs is not wasting their time , I read all comments and opinions just as I said I would on my profile =]

Well , to be honest I do like illustrating manga stuffs , but then again , there's no such option for studies here .. plus , I'm going to specializing major in my next coming semester , 3D animation stuffs , I think it's a little too late to confront my mom and tell her that I'd like to quit what I'm studying now. I'll probably get the disappointment look and then the stare of death.

But honestly , I still prefer living the drawing part of life.
I don't mind if it's 2D animation , I have the will and urge to learn those , but 3D.. it just doesn't seem as interesting as 2D to me. Although it's the trend for now.

I've been drawing since I was little , and when I first got introduced by the 3D world , it kind of hit me real hard, for drawing skills aren't required much. So I keep asking myself one question " So what's the point of drawing and practicing hard everyday to come to this moment where I'm told that drawing skills aren't that important now that we have this software for you ".. and this is what that has never failed to lead me to depression mode all the time. I've always wanted to create stuffs by drawing , and by using a software to do the works of creating something.

Might sound childish and stupid to some other people , but that's just my pure opinion.
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:iconlhuvik:
LhuvIk Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
You speak as if there are no tomorrow, or you are in a kind of rush. But Rome haven't been build in two days, don't you know?

You can be a self taught artist, as many others out there -myself included.

To have studies in one field doesn't mean you are bound to them forever and ever. If you want my opinion, if I was in you skin, I would finish those 3D studies, and after I would worry about what to do next. In the meanwhile, I would develop my drawing skills too. To have an additional tittles doesn't hurt and it is never a waste of time. It can open you some doors in case of need.

Just don't give up with your dreams.

I don't think you're being childish, but you sound pretty scared. There is a lot to do in front of you, so catch some breath, cheer up and carry on :aww:.
Reply
:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
Indeed , I think I'm kind of in a rush to prove something at the moment. But that's probably just one of the reasons.

Well guess I'll just try going with the flow for now.

Glad to hear your opinion on this one =]
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:iconlhuvik:
LhuvIk Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012   Digital Artist
I am happy if I can at least give you some other point of view what makes you think :).
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:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012   Digital Artist
Yeah thanks =]

There's art block mode , and sometimes , there's also an entire mind block mode lol.

Thanks for the open up a little there~
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:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
*and NOT by using a software to do the works of creating.. *missed out a word there*
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:iconsnowflakeflower9:
snowflakeflower9 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm sure that you'll eventually find the right path to take. ^_^ We all have to make tough decisions that affect our futures.
Reply
:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
Yeah hopefully I'll find that path real soon =x
Reply
:iconmangalover1215:
mangalover1215 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
if drawing is what you absolutly what you love go after the manga. i mean, im only 13 and i already know manga will be my carrer NO MATTER WHAT! don't worry 'bout all that stuff; if your mom is supporting you all the way she won't mind if you pay her back or not
Reply
:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
Well , trust me , that's almost exactly what my thoughts and dreams were when I was at that age. Things change once you study more. Then you have a whole lot of other stuffs to consider.
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:iconmangalover1215:
mangalover1215 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
then if what you said is true then i guess i'll have to stay in this mindset the rest of my life..
Reply
:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
Yeah what I'm saying is true of course , as a kid , we all have our little dreams , so sure that we're going to be it. But the min we all grow up , we tend to grow fear of taking a step to reach out to that dream. Perhaps this is kind of jibberish to you atm , but you'll probably face the same stuffs in the future =x But well , if you have a strong mindset , then you're on the safer side =]
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:iconmangalover1215:
mangalover1215 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
yokoshiro can you take a look at my drawing i just posted and critique it? :clap:
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:iconmangalover1215:
mangalover1215 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
well i thank you for the heads up yokoshiro.
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:iconmangalover1215:
mangalover1215 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
ah i see, well thank you for the heads up yokoshiro, but i wont deviate from this path. as soon as i find an artest im gonna post my creation online :).
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:iconthechilione:
thechilione Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012
you should make the manga as a hobby... go for your career yo
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:iconxmaydayx:
XMaydayX Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012
wish I could help but im not so sure about my own future.
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:iconyokoshiro:
Yokoshiro Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012   Digital Artist
Guess we're in the same boat on this one =x
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:iconxmaydayx:
XMaydayX Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
definitely
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